Today is Valentine's Day. While I have not traditionally been a big fan of this day, someone recently reminded me that this is a day to celebrate LOVE, every type of love... so today I celebrate YOU.
As I lie here with you on this special day, I feel your heart beat rhythmically and I smile. I smell your hair, rub your baby soft skin, and hold your sweaty little hand in mine. I love you, Bubba, more than I can sometimes bear. I have spent the last 8+ months watching you grow and develop. I'm so proud of you that my heart feels as if it may burst every time I look at you. I have witnessed all of your firsts... Your first smile, rolling over, sitting up, laughing, crawling... I marvel at how perfectly God has created you to be.
Sweet love, I count myself blessed to be your mommy for this season. This weekend has been a bittersweet one as you have now come upon another milestone in your tiny little life. While you have shown excitement at my arrival for quite a while now, you have now started to prefer to be with me rather than others. Like most mothers, I will admit that even though this milestone makes life a little less convenient, it is also one that makes my heart swell with even more love and affection for you than I thought possible.
It means that you, my love, know without a shadow of a doubt who I am to you... I. Am. Mommy.
But even though you have known me as your mommy since you were two days old, the problem is... I'm not really her.
Eventually, whether it be in a few short weeks or a year from now, you will leave me. You will begin to learn the voice and face of your new mommy. She will feed you, bathe you, talk to you, rock you, love you. As time passes, you will learn to trust her. You will begin forming a bond with her. You will love her. And as you settle into your new life, your memories of me will fade. You will no longer listen for my voice in a crowd and respond with smiles and jumps when you hear me. You will no longer wait for my face to appear at your bedroom door in the mornings. You, instead, will be listening and waiting for another. And that's okay.
But even though your memories of me will fade away, I pray that your memory of my love for you never does. For the love I have for you will never fade away or diminish over time. It will hold steadfast and true until I take my last breath, just like my love for those who came before you...
Forever and for always...