Every night we do the same thing...
We snuggle while I whisper over her.
I love you, sweet girl.
You're my favorite girl.
And you are so worth it.
Last night, my voice caught and tears began to form as I said to my little baby love, "You are so worth it."
It made me think about my Jesus. My savior who declared that I was worth it so many years ago as he suffered on the cross.
He still calls out to me, with his scarred hands held out, waiting for me to fall into his arms...
Erin, you were so worth it.
You were worth every hit.
Every drop of blood.
You, my sweet daughter, were worth every single bit of pain.
Your redemption is complete.
You are paid for.
You are whole.
Your heart is mine.
Yet time and time again, I declare myself to be unworthy of such a love. I refuse to believe that it is available to me. I act as if I am unloved and unwanted.
And in my unwillingness to accept His love, I have nullified the most incredible gift anyone has ever offered me. I have pushed Him away. I have told Him that His sacrifice, His ultimate sacrifice, is not enough for me.
So now I run back to the cross.
Back to His sacrifice.
Back to His love for me.
Back to His scarred hands and His open arms.
Back to His voice... His whisper...
You are so worth it.