My heart lies in shards around me. Although I knew this day was coming, all I can feel is devastation. All I know is the deep ache inside of me that longs for my baby. The panic alarm inside of me is growing louder by the second.
But even as the storm rages inside of me, I know that there is a still, small voice whispering, "Come to me, all you who are heavy laden... I will give you rest." I cling to that voice, that promise, that hope. There is no other alternative, for I cannot bear this on my own.
As my world falls apart, remind me of my calling.
As I call out in my despair, remind me of the hope that I have in You.
As I stand among the broken pieces of what once was, remind me of the broken nature of this ministry.
As I grieve for a child who will no longer call me 'Mama,' remind me of the terror that birth parents feel as their child is taken away.
As I pick myself back up to continue walking down this road you have set before me, remind me that You are the healer of all broken things.
As I cry in desperation, remind me that You know my heart and soul to a depth that I will never understand and You love me still.
As I wake up tomorrow to a new wave of grief, remind me that You are the source of my strength.
Lord God, remind me of Your power, Your love, Your sacrifice. Remind me of Your grace. For without it... Without YOU... I am nothing.